I recently read a book from which I learned a lot. I've already applied what I learned, and it seems to be working! I find it exciting when you can learn from others, when there are new findings in neurobiology, and when you can combine that with God's Word and the Holy Spirit and apply it in your daily life. The book is about the “Let them” theory, which is supposed to help you accept others as they are and focus on what you can change yourself. So “let them” and “let me.” But not in a passive-aggressive way, but in a benevolent way.
I wasn't even aware of how often I get annoyed with others and have suggestions for how they could improve their lives. Ok sometimes I've noticed it and then I've gotten annoyed that I'm annoyed.
You have visitors and your friends are constantly looking at their phones? Let them. Maybe they need to write an important message or they're just too tired and distracted to concentrate on anything else. My criticism would only create counterpressure and a bad atmosphere. I'd rather be a role model and leave my phone in the hallway. That's how it works basically. And it's quite relaxing!
It's exciting what two quiet words can do. “Let them.”
We cannot control and educate adults—even if our criticism may be well-intentioned and justified. But people only change if they want to. And I don't like it when others point out my mistakes either. The more you push adults to change, the less they do. So we often fight against windmills with our frustration and even jeopardize our relationships! Most people probably already realized this, but it was helpful for me.
Maybe the Holy Spirit will help me to be more gracious to other people from now on? That would be nice.
I would love to radiate grace, love, and understanding. To be a safe haven.
Perhaps “let them” is a crutch that can help me do that.
I don't want to get upset about things I can't change. Instead I want to shape my own life positively. I want to use my gifts, actively plan my life, and not just react. Reach out to people I want to spend time with. Make a difference and move things forward. I don't have to take everyone with me and save them. Others are allowed to be themselves and go their own way at their own pace. Do I know how God is guiding them and what they need to learn along the way? I mustn't be too quick to help or take shortcuts. That's sometimes hard to bear, but it's necessary. Because the desire for change must come from within people themselves. You can't force that with pressure.
Let them. Pray. And be there for them.
How glad I am that God loves me just as I am. He is not impatient or angry, even though I keep making mistakes (again and again).
This is the kind of love Jesus talked about!
A love that leaves room and serves. A love that does good and that you want to embrace. A love that motivates but does not push. This is how we should learn to love one another.
“Love one another as I have loved you.”
Jesus does not criticize me. He encourages me.
He wants to help me grow. But he is far too smart to do that with pressure and scolding. Because that wouldn't work with me.
I need his grace and love.
And how good it is that his justice and judgment do not affect me.
Not because he overlooks my failures, but because Jesus has taken them upon himself for me.
I have nothing to fear.
Neither do my friends.
But we can grow in love.
And in joy, too.
“I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature.
This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love."
John 15:11-12 (MSG)