I still have fears and doubts sometimes. Even though I have already experienced so much with God and he has never let me down. I have also experienced successes with him, where he has used me for his kingdom despite and with my weaknesses. Tremendous things, of which he has promised even more. He wants to give me life in abundance and do more than I could imagine or dream of! But sometimes I get an imposter feeling, a few thoughts that try to convince me that I'm not good enough. That I'm just pretending and there's nothing to it. If only they knew how weak and unimportant I actually am! And such thoughts also come to mind when you've been on stage many times, published three books and enjoy preaching in front of lots of people. Sometimes just before an important performance or a decision. Who am I really? That was all a mistake, I'd better hide away in my home again and not act so important. On the one hand, this is perhaps normal fear. But on the other hand, it's also hostility. Because the devil (I don't like talking about him) doesn't like it when we shine for Jesus. He doesn't like it when we are present and vulnerable and wonderful. But Jesus, he may set us free. With our faults. In his light. And so I experience how he also frees me from such anxieties. Anxiety is disturbing. I read that ten percent of us struggle with it.
Fear can control our thoughts. I read a prayer in a devotional book that asks the Holy Spirit to control my thoughts. That sounds kind of dangerous. Like a loss of control. And don't we all want to and shouldn't we keep control of our thoughts? Thoughts are free! Or are they not? I don't want to be controlled by fear. Or be manipulated by the devil. I want to be led by the Holy Spirit! Does giving him control over my life mean giving him control over my thoughts? Do I dare to pray that? Only if I know that the Holy Spirit always means well with me, that he will never use this control against me. He never takes advantage of my trust. Under his rule, I am more myself than ever before! Perhaps this loss of control that scares us so much is what trust and faith are all about. Devotion. Surrender. Sacrifice. I dared to pray this prayer. “Holy Spirit, control my thoughts!” And I experience freedom, joy and peace. I am still myself but without fear. When I have the choice of whether fear or the Holy Spirit should control my thoughts, the choice is not difficult. And then I put myself back on stage or in the spotlight and bless people. Even though I'm just me.
But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you.
Letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.
Römer 8: 9 and 6