I'm quick to get excited about new things. Curious. Open-minded. Even to people. I find it interesting to talk to people I don't know. But sometimes I have neglected my old friends because of this. Because I wanted to make new friends, also for Jesus. But my focus can be so blatant that I just try to find the new ones. And I don't even notice that I'm losing old friends. I don't have that many old friends. Old friends are rare and precious, and you have to cherish them. They need attention and time. Unfortunately, I am often forgetful and live from moment to moment. I can be good friends with anyone who is available at the moment. But depth comes with time, with shared experiences. And I realize more and more how blessed I am with all the friendships I have had over the years. And there are some where it would be worthwhile to start again. I pray that the Holy Spirit will put me in touch with the right people again. He helps me not only to start friendships, but also to continue them. To ask how I can be there for others.
The danger of collecting too many contacts also exists at church. It is like collecting apples in a basket with a hole in it. Picking up new apples and not noticing when others fall out.
I sometimes feel guilty when I don't take good care of my friends or brothers and sisters. But feeling guilty is stupid. Either you do something about it, or you shouldn't feel guilty at all, a wise friend once told me. Because a guilty conscience doesn't help anybody.
I can't take care of everybody. I don't have to entertain them or make them happy. I don't have to be liked by everyone. I make mistakes. I forget names and birthdays. I tend to give advice without being asked. But I can also be a good friend. I am helpful and encouraging. And maybe I don't have to be everything to everyone. Maybe each of us is only a part of the whole. Maybe my job is to be exactly the way God made me. With all the gaps.
It makes me think of Winnie the Pooh. The friends in the Hundred Acre Wood are so different and unique! And yet they are all kind. Interestingly, I can identify with all of them: comfortable like Pooh, know-it-all like Rabbit, chaotic and wild like Tigger. Only like Piglet and Eeyore, I am rare! Everyone has their strengths. Especially in a Christian community. I am grateful for all my brothers and sisters. The quiet ones and the loud ones. The funny and the thoughtful. The organized and the chaotic. We are a colorful bunch. And we have so much to give each other. We have so much to learn from each other. I'm glad I have them! I don't want to forget them and lose them accidentally.
It's a good thing that people are not apples, they're sheep. And sometimes you lose them, but there is a shepherd who never loses sight of them, who follows them and brings them back to the flock.
It's a good thing that I'm not the shepherd (although I'd like to learn to be an assistant shepherd), but Jesus is. I don't have to do His work. I don't have to save anyone or make anyone happy. This dissolves the guilty conscience. I don't have to give what I can't give. I am just a sheep myself, even if I am partly a leading sheep. And I hope that I don't get lost and that others don't follow me astray. But that's exactly why I need to keep my eyes on Jesus. The leading sheep follow the shepherd and help him lead the flock. And the shepherd takes special care that they stay on the right path. Otherwise, he will grab them with his crook and bring them back.
Responsibility and trust. Following and leading. Obedience and courage.
I want to walk closely with Jesus, then everything will be okay.
My sheep recognize my voice. I know them, and they follow me.
I give them real and eternal life. They are protected from the Destroyer for good.
No one can steal them from out of my hand.
John 10: 27-28 (MB)