We tried the Listening Prayer at a conference and each of us wrote down a thought and stuck it on the notice board. We were encouraged to be brave and write down whatever came to mind so that it might be an encouragement to others. The first thing that came to my mind was "House by the sea". I don't know why. I thought I'd write down a more sensible encouragement, like "You're not alone". But then I dared to write down "House by the Sea". It was one of the first pieces of paper to disappear. I would love to know if this was really a prophecy for someone at the conference! Anyway, I also took a piece of paper and on mine it says: "You are allowed to be wild and untameable". -And right underneath it is a second sentence (maybe the person felt the same way and wanted to add a Christian cliché?) "God says: I carry you and I hold you."
But then the two sentences go together. Because if I'm wild and untameable, I'm also living dangerously. So it's good that God is carrying and holding me. Even if it sounds contradictory. How can you carry something that is wild and untameable? And do I really want to be wild and untameable? Or just sometimes? Because I want to be carried by God. I want to sit on His lap like a cute little cat! Although maybe not like a cute cat. I want to be sort of wild and untamed. The relationship with a wild, untamed animal is even more interesting than with a pet. I'm thinking of the little prince and the fox. The fox is wild and untameable. But he wants to be tamed by the little prince. Not with submission and force. But with love. And who doesn't want to be tamed with love?
Isn't it the same with children? My nephew is a wild, impetuous child. We like each other. But sometimes he's exhausting. I often get impatient and scold him. But a child can only be tamed with patience and love. To what extent should a child be tamed? Which requirements are good and necessary, and where do I have exaggerated ideas of peace and order? Not an easy question.
And where am I too wild and untameable for others as well? How wild and untamed can I be?
A few years ago I read a book called "The Untamed Messiah" (originally "Beautiful Outlaw"). Often we want to bend God and make him a gentle, predictable God who fits into our imagination. But God is not that small.
How much freedom do I give God?
How much freedom do I give other people?
How much freedom do I give myself?
I am grateful for the Holy Spirit. He is not as easy to pigeonhole as God the Father or Jesus. (Although that's just as absurd.) The Spirit blows where He wants. And lately I've been asking him a lot if he has a job for me. I can hear Him best at night, when I sometimes wake up briefly. I fall asleep again immediately, but there is a state between waking and sleeping where I am more open to His speaking. And I am very grateful for these brief impulses. I hope that I will learn to hear Him better and better during the day. Maybe one day even when I'm around people? A lot of people, noise and chaos are my weakness, where I lose touch with myself. That's why I like reading, writing or being in the forest. And in the zoo. Watching animals really relaxes me. And by the water. I love that too.
Maybe we were never meant to be indoors so much. Maybe wild and untamed people just need to be in the wild more often.
No one´s ever seen or heard anything like this,
Never so much as imagined anything quite like it -
What God has arranged for those who love him.
1. Corinthians 2,9