I've been daydreaming more often lately. That´s not all bad for a children's book author. But sometimes I often don't get much done. But I want to question that lifestyle: Will I only make progress in life if I keep doing my to-do-list? What´s on my list anyway? Do I have to do what's up there for my day to be successful? Or is life not so much more?
When I take time for a spontaneous conversation: that's not on my list. There is no such thing as love and attention written on my list. It's always some kind of work or things to organize. That's why it's not bad at all to have a rule of life with all the different areas. Otherwise, I'm always in work mode. Especially when working at home. It just feels good when you've done a lot in one day. You feel successful. Somehow, that's deep in us, this proving to ourselves that we're productive. But I want to learn to see my life and my work in a more playful way. And I can deal with it much better now when there is a slow day and I let myself drift.
I want to be guided by God, by his love. Love sometimes just takes time to visits with someone. Even if there is nothing to discuss. Even if nothing comes out of it.
I am often far too purposeful in my life. Impatient. Auditing. Just breathe and observe!
God is Great. He loves me, saves me and changes me. It's not up to me! We're all a bit broken, more or less. We all have our faults. But God lays His grace upon all of us.
Sometimes, while reading the Bible and praying, I catch a glimpse of how God sees us. With how much love and mercy and compassion and understanding. That makes my heart so happy. When I'm desperate because of my self-centeredness and prejudices. Or the judgment and problems of others. God understands. And He is working on our healing. He promised!
I pluck up courage and move on. With my list and with a joker for love. For others and me.
"God the Father has an eye on each of you, and has determined by the work of the Spirit to keep you obedient through the sacrifice of Jesus." 1 Peter 1:2 (MB)
I don't have to optimize myself. The Holy Spirit is working to make Jesus' sacrifice bear fruit in my life. He reminds me that Jesus saves me. That I need His grace and that I can live from it. That I don't have to be afraid. That I don't have to be perfect. That His grace is enough, even if I repeat mistakes.
Reading the Bible is so liberating! Because it's good news.
Sure, I want to get better, be more efficient and kind, wiser and more merciful. But parts of me aren't quite mature yet, you might say.
The Holy Spirit is working on me! Isn't that great?
