I have often focused on goals that were difficult to achieve. Last week we talked about the difference between goals and desires in the small group of church. In the process, we discovered that most of our "goals" are actually just desires. Because they depend on circumstances and on other people. We can't reach them on our own. A harmonious family, for example. This is a beautiful wish, but not an achievable goal, because it depends on each person in the family. Or that friends and family get to know God and want to live their lives with Jesus. That´s a good wish, but not an achievable goal. I can work on my character, be a good role model, love others. This is the highest and best goal of all: love. And love bears fruit: I look away from myself and my desires and then worry gives way to peace, anger gives way to patience, and depression gives way to joy. It's not up to me to save others. Succeeding as a mother, pastor, or writer is not a goal you can achieve. I want to make myself available to God, work with Him on my character, grow in my ability to love. Then fruit comes by the way.
We are often too focused on success. Like a salesperson who wanted to sell as much as possible, but only after working on his character, “achieved” his goal. In becoming an honest and loving salesperson, he happened to become a “successful” salesperson as well.
We often see success in other people´s lives, but not how they got there. When we doggedly pursue our “goals”, which should actually just be desires, we become frustrated.
It was the same with my writing. I've always wanted to write a book, but it wasn't until God worked on my character and I worked on my heart, like in a field, that He gave fruit.
And I realize that this principle holds many more applications and secrets yet to discover. It makes me question my goals whenever I´m frustrated. Why do I really want to talk less in groups and listen more? So that I look better? Because it's embarrassing when I answer every question? But if my goal is love, then I turn my focus away from myself and towards others. And then, all of a sudden, it's automatic. I listen because I see the others. I want to love and respect my fellow students. And then I'm in a new dimension and forget about myself long enough to be part of the group.
Yesterday we were at a concert in the roman catholic church of our district. (In Austria and especially in our part of the country almost everybody belongs to this church.) And I really felt part of it for the first time. We are not Catholic, but we are a part of this district. There were all neighbors we meet while shopping and going for a walk, and we are a part of this group of people. We belong because we live here. That thought humbled me. I know some weaknesses in the character of some neighbors. And they know some of mine. Some people probably find us weird because we go to a free church. But we are all “Schöneggers” (Schönegg is the name of our district). Everyone belongs, even the weirdos. Such a local proximity in a church definitely has some advantages. Even if it is not always easy to accept the others as they are. I want to learn to love my neighbors. To really see them. I want to be part of this community and get involved.
My 9-year-old neighbor told me yesterday that she recognizes us by our smell. She can tell which of the neighbors just went by, only by their scent because every family has a different smell. We know each other so well that we can smell each other! I want to be a fragrance for Jesus. That others associate positive feelings with my smell because of my love. I still have a lot to learn, and I still have a long way to go. But I got a sense now of what is yet possible.
What happens when we we live God´s way?
He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard -
things like affection for others,
exuberance about life,
serenity.
We develop a willingness to stick with things,
a sense of compassion in the heart,
and a conviction that a basic holliness permeates things and people.
We find ourselves involved in loyal commitment,
not needing to force our way in life,
able to marshal and direct our enegies wisely.
Galatians 5:22