A few years ago, at the beginning of the pandemic, I realized that God gives me more than enough. "The Lord is my shepherd. I have all that I need," became my mantra when everyone else was worried about toilet paper and canned goods. Not that I haven't stocked up as well. But I did not want to be infected by panic, but instead trust God to provide for me and my family.
Now comes the next level of my training!
I need to explain that many years ago I asked Jesus to be apprenticed and taught by him about how to live a life of love. It´s definitely an apprenticeship and not a university kind of education, and the duration of training is quite long. But that's how Jesus and I do it. There are several subjects, and I often don't know exactly what it is, Jesus is teaching me right now. Sometimes I focus on one thing and learn something totally different along the way. Often I even learn when I think there's nothing going on. Jesus is a pretty good teacher!
Anyway, to come back to the topic (or subject) of "God provides part two": I am recognizing that God also provides for what I can give to others. God satisfies my needs. He blesses me. But He also wants to bless others through me. And I don't have to do that from myself, I don't have to take it from me! That way giving takes on a completely different dimension! I don't just share what I have left. I consciously take it from Jesus whatever it is he gives me to pass on. That is abundance and wealth!
I recently read on instagram: "Don't give from your all. Give from your overflow." A hint that you should take care of yourself and not exhaust yourself. Not to burn out for others. And that's true. If I give from my all, I am exhausted, stressed, ignore my limits and in the end I am not a blessing but a burden. But if I give from Jesus instead of myself! That´s gamechanging!
Do I trust Jesus to give me the strength and wisdom and means that are needed? I want to take the time to check with Jesus first when I come across a need or a request. Is this my job to do? Is this the right time? What is it you provide me to give?
I tried this for a day last week and it worked amazingly well! (Now this is the practical part of the training, which takes more time than the aha moment before, so it really is an apprenticeship.)
I volunteered to paint a wall in our new church rooms. Although I'm not a professional and I was a bit anxious about whether I could do it well enough, especially without dripping on anything important. But then, an hour before I had to leave, my niece called and really needed someone to talk. I told Jesus ok. I can listen for an hour and encourage her. If that helps. It did help. I was a good listener that day and took my time without being on pins and needles, without constantly checking my watch. Afterwards I packed up the painting supplies from the garage, drove to the site and painted that wall black. Very slowly and carefully. And it was fun! It was meditative because I did it so carefully. I almost stumbled over a small step on the countertop once, with the black paint in my hand! But I was okay. God gave me what was needed. I gave my time and my hands. And it didn't make me tired, but cheerful. It is more blessed to give than to receive. And then I went home and cooked a fancy Asien lunch for my teenagers. Actually, I don't like to cook very much. But it was fun to try something new and they loved it. We ate later than usual, but I didn't stress myself out. It was a training day for me, and everything was part of the program. There was enough time and love. And the "kids" helped me clean up the kitchen afterwards.
It was a good training day, where I did everything consciously with the power straight from God. I got a lot done, but I was not stressed at all. I hope I can take this with me into my everyday life. I want to remember who provides time and strength and success. And that making mistakes is also part of the training. I messed up with black paint. But it was very easy to clean up. Thank God!
I don't want to eat and enjoy my "five loaves of bread and two fish", which actually is "my snack", all by myself. Yes, God gives me enough. But what miracles will I experience if I give back to him? If I trust him and make myself dependent on him?
Caring for the supplies is his job. He is responsible for equipping me. It is relaxing to leave him in charge. To give him control. I'm serving. Without stress. One thing at a time. With whatever I have. But he is responsible for the resources!
And I don't have to do everything. Recess is important too! I am part of the team, and my well-being is also important. My afternoon nap. My walk in the sun. Time to read.
But I don't have to hoard my strength and my gifts. Because the Holy Spirit dwells in me and I am allowed to live an abundant life. I always have something to give. There is enough. Life overflowing.
I have come that they may have life,
and have it to the full.
John 10:10
Come to me and drink. Rivers of living water will brim and spill
out of the depths of anyone
who believes in me.
John 7:38