I grew up evangelical, although I was officially Roman Catholic (like almost everyone in Austria). When I was seven or eight years old, the priest came to our home to talk with my mom because the religious education teacher had complained about me. I had refused to pray the Hail Mary in front of an image at school because it was idolatry. I still remember it exactly. I felt like Daniel's friends who refused to worship the golden statue! Like a martyr. And that was definitely an important moment for my faith. For the first time, I stood up for my convictions, all by myself. Although the religious education teacher was very angry. Her argument that we do not worship Mary, but only pray to her, did not convince me.
In this progress of cutting and departing from the Roman Catholic Church, I partly exaggerated it. I threw everything Orthodox overboard and hated Baroque churches. Only in the last few years have I tentatively learned to see beauty in old traditions, rituals and icons. Lectio Divina. The wisdom of Church fathers and monks. Orisons. My heart and my faith become wider and richer as a result. I see how churches are also changing and I want to celebrate that. What do I know about how God's Spirit wants to work in my country? By now I feel more connected to some Catholics than to some Evangelicals. My pigeonholes get mixed up.
I recently led the worship in the prison in Innsbruck. We were six women from different free churches who sang together. This time it was not only a Catholic, but also an Orthodox priest who celebrated Mass together. Shortly before the service, the eight of us had a good lunch together in the staff canteen of the prison. I already knew the Catholic priest. He is very nice and uncomplicated. We talked about why so many Catholics are leaving the Church and what can be done about it. And I saw him. His concern. His desire to be a blessing.
The other priest was an imposing appearance with a full beard in a noble black priestly robe and came from Romania. I have never had lunch with an Orthodox priest before. But I wanted him to feel appreciated and respected. So I told him about a Dutch friend of mine who, although being protestant, loves icons and paints them herself. “Your icons are beautiful”, I said. And he was delighted.
The service was interesting and different. Unusual in any case, especially for me. But I respected these men in their special position. And I also received respect from them. We have seen and felt the Spirit of God in the other. We were all priests. It was mystical in its own way. There was unity, although we were worlds apart.
There should not be no worlds between us anyway. It was just such a new experience for me.
I prayed for those holy men to be a blessing. And after the service, we continued singing about God's love, while the priests blessed the prisoners and prayed with individuals. God's Spirit was at work there, in that prison church.
It´s a good thing to engage in new experiences with God. I haven't lost none of my identity. I still wouldn't pray the Hail Mary. But there certainly are worse things you can do. I can live my faith. But also grow in my faith. And it is not for me to tell others how to experience God. God is so much greater than the God I know. I am happy for what I know and experience about him. For this love and grace and appreciation. No matter if man or woman. Foreigner or local. Catholic or evangelical or whatever. God sees every single person with all their history and culture and character trait. I am accepted as I am.
Peter asked Jesus, "Lord, what about him?"
Jesus answered, "...What´s that to you? You -follow me."
John 21:21-22