I like to learn. But unfortunately, I often think I'm smarter than I actually am. At least I like to share my new knowledge and sometimes annoy others with it! That's where I want to grow. Because strengths and weaknesses are so close to each other here. My greatest strengths become weaknesses when I show off and become proud. But immediately afterwards, when I have fallen on my nose, they offer the chance for humility and progress and can thus become a strength again...
I am enthusiastic and interested in a lot. But I have such small pieces of knowledge; now and then interspersed with connecting flashes of inspiration, but mostly only guessing and groping in the fog.
“Want to know” is one of the three temptations of the serpent in paradise. (The other two are “want to have” and “want to be”.) We want to know more! Not only in the scientific field (I am very interested in languages and theology) but also practically, to better understand our lives. What are my tasks, what is my purpose in life? What need is my mission? Which work is worth it? We don't know. And yet, the Fall has shown us that we don't really know anything. That there is no knowledge without God. And then came Jesus, who himself is the truth. And then came Pentecost and we received the Spirit of truth with which God's wisdom himself dwells in us! How cool is that?
Still, I don't know everything. Because I don't have a grip on God's wisdom. But God's Spirit has a grip on me. He uses me, not I use him. He teaches me things. At his pace, in his time. He is my teacher.
I am an avid student, always have been. I often have to smile at myself when I want to be the first to decipher a word in Hebrew class. And this, where we all barely know the Hebrew alphabet! We sit there like first graders learn to read, very slowly we stutter out letter by letter and try to connect them in a meaningful way. And how proud I am when I recognize a word from the Bible and maybe even know what it means!
Does Jesus feel the same way about us as the Hebrew professor? He spurs us on and praises us for tiny spelling successes. Although he knows that the language has so much more to offer. We read letters and words. But there is world literature written with these letters! Each word in itself a universe of connections and backgrounds. We start small... We are happy about every progress and yet know that there is still a very, very long way to go.
In heaven I will know what I don't know now. Unimaginable!
I am glad that my knowledge humbles me, even if I am sometimes ridiculously proud. Does that make any sense?
Every new knowledge shows me that there is so much more to learn.
I've always loved going to school. Even if my grades weren't the best. But I like learning together with others.
Just like the disciples who followed Jesus. We are also following him together today. Sometimes we behave childishly. There are class clowns, know-it-alls and wanna-be-heroes. We make mistakes. Sin. Disappoint and hurt. But Jesus does not send us away. He forgives, washes our feet, laughs with us and makes jokes. Just like Jesus in the series "The Chosen". A Jesus you can touch, who loves us and believes in us. Even if we are proud and haven´t really understood anything. Even if he has to explain forgiveness a hundred times. And who it is that is the greatest in his kingdom.
We follow, stumbling, at best like children who want to learn.
And if we are a little bit smart, then we do not let defeats and mistakes stop us. But accept the correction and try again without sulking.
But even if we do sulk... Jesus knows how to cheer us up again!
Dreamers fantasize their self-importance;
they think they are smarter
than a whole college-faculty.
Proverbs 26:16
You are beyond comprehension Lord
for your knowledge is much deeper than our deepest sea
Your beauty is magnificent, in awe I stand before you
You are greater than my Great, and that´s what I love about you.
Greater than wisdom, greater than pride – than everything I know
Greater than fear, greater than me, you are my God, I honor you.
(Song "Größer" by Jonnes Schmidt)