I love hydrangeas. They bloom like crazy in Northern Spain. But in the corner of my little garden, which is best seen from the living room, the bush has only been producing leaves - for years. I tried a lot. Hoped for flowers every year. Said again and again: If it does not produce flowers next year it has to go! But then I couldn´t find any better plant for a shady place like that and it stayed.
And guess what? There are flowers this year! And in a nice color, too! Just like that! I take it as a gift from God and enjoy it. Every morning while reading my Bible and praying, I see those beautiful flowers in our green garden. Lavish blossoms. Abundant beauty. Not just three flowers, as hoped. A lot of them! I can even put some in the vase and decorate my home with it. Abundance of beauty. God is not stingy! He loves to make me happy and put a smile on my face. Why only now? I don't know. But I gladly accept the gift!
For years I have also been waiting for fruits to appear in my life. But often I wanted it too much. Did it my way. Worked on my character. Did my To do list. Wanted to be busy and efficient. A lot was just a waste of energy. (And a learning progress of course.) But I don't have to do more. I want to do the right thing at the right time. Let the Holy Spirit guide me. Live freely. But not in a way that allows me to do everything I want. Real freedom is only found in following His Spirit. Even if it sounds paradox: Self-realization and freedom are not the same thing. I never feel as free as when I bathe in God's presence and let my heart be filled with His love. And it seems to me that the volume of my heart can grow – at least for containing God's love! My heart is big and happy now. And only the Holy Spirit can do that in me. I want to be expectant of what God wants to do in my life. How he wants to build his kingdom, also through me. Where I can join him in His work. He sends people my way and provides opportunities to learn new things. Stuff I didn't plan. I want to follow His voice in my heart. His voice, that does not speak the same things to everyone. So now I'm learning Portuguese. Meet with women who just recently dropped into our church. Turn off the boiler to save energy. Visit and support other churches, make new contacts and revive old ones through my book sales. Talk to interesting people - big and little ones. I want to be driven by the Spirit and stay curious. Take my time to let my heart be soaked in grace and love. Which happens especially while reading my Bible. My heart soaks up His words of love like a dry sponge. And then it moves up to my face. I smile.
And it feels like I'm glowing. Or blooming like a hydrangea.
Will there be hard times? Certainly. But nothing can separate me from God's love. Absolutely nothing.
Meanwhile we expectantly wait for a satisfying relationship with the Spirit.
(Galatians 5:5)
Live freely, animated and motivated by God´s Spirit.
What happens when we live God´s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard - things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.
(Galatians 5:16 and 22-23)