"I am good, and you?" was the beginning of an email my youngest daughter received recently.
(Linguistic explanation: In German it´s even more funny if you say it that way because the grammar changes the meaning “Ich bin gut” means “I am a good person”. “Mir geht es gut” means “I am fine”. The adjective/adverb is the same, but you definitely need a different verb.)
My daughter takes part in a pen pal project with a French school: the Austrian students write to their pen pal in French and the French have to respond in German! That´s how she came to this interesting statement that we laughed a lot about. "I'm good, and you?"
Possible answer: I am evil? Or: I'm a good guy too, thank you!?
The sentence kept swirling in my head. Would I call myself good? Of course, no one is really good. But compared to others, we often perform much worse. We think the others are good – or at least better than us. I often put my foot in my mouth and can then be annoyed about it for a long time and burden myself with self-reproach. Since I know how much Jesus loves me and that he always forgives me, it is not as bad as it used to be. But still: As soon as there are tensions, I always look for the mistake in myself. And apologize the others. Especially when I think about it in retrospect.
But I've had a few experiences lately that have been eye openers. Others have not behaved properly towards me. They hurt my feelings. Of course, there were misunderstandings, pre-histories, and explanations for this. But still. It was not good how they behaved towards me. And it was healing for me to accept this fact. This person hurt me. They crossed a line. Even if I have always been blaming myself. Even if this person is a spiritual role model. Accepting an injury as such and let it sink. That hurts! How many times have I simply swept something like this under the carpet? Laughed about it and thought it wasn't so bad?
We disappoint each other. This hurts, but it can also be healing. A disappointment is also a dis-illusion. Where do I have misconceptions? Where did I put people on a pedestal that makes me think they are better than me? That they have a better grip on themselves and not hurt others, as I do? We know better. But our perception sometimes plays a trick on us.
Am I good?
Yes, I am!
But not because I'm good. But because Jesus loves me and lives in me! Because his grace is enough.
For me.
And for the others.
They need God's grace just as much as I do. And I know I need it every day! Why should the others be better off than me? Why should they be better than me?
I'm good, and you?
Instead of redoubling our own efforts, simply embrace what the Spirit is doing in us.
He is in us - living and breathing God! Even though you still experience all the limitations of sin - you yourself experience life on God´s terms. God lives and breathes in you, you are delivered from that dead life. We don´t need this old do-it-yourself life. This resurrection life you received from God is adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What´s next, Papa?" God´s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are: his children.
from Romans 8, MB