I am often very targeted. If I have a goal, I want to achieve it. That sometimes puts me at stress, even if it's things I enjoy. That sounds crazy. Probably it is. But it's good to realize where you're doing crazy things. Appointments and deadlines stress me. Especially when they are one after another. But I need them. Without a plan, often nothing happens at all. No new blog, no meeting with friends. Not everything works spontaneous. Otherwise, we will waste a lot of time. How can I do this better so that dates are a help and not a monster? Paradoxically, I gain control over my agenda when I let go of control. If I'm not so stubborn to achieve my goals, take a step back and let go. Then I can work with the deadlines instead of being dominated by them. Who has the grip on whom? When I let myself be stressed by the deadlines and appointments, I feel trapped and inhibited in my creativity. It makes me aggressive and frustrated. I might manage to be on time, but I am dissatisfied with myself and with my work. All in vain. But I do not have to stay in this spiral. Today, when I realized it, I sat down at my desk, wrote my thoughts in my diary, and asked God to help me let go. To surrender control. Yes, I have deadlines and appointments, but it´s not the end of the world if I miss them. People are more important than things. Including me. When I am stressed, I am inattentive. And then I hurt myself easily. But I want to be careful with the people I love, also with me. Be careful and loving. Not hurt.
God really made me calm in an instant. This is a prayer that he always answers.
"Come to me and I will give you peace," Jesus promises in Matthew 11:28.
In this closeness to Jesus, so much good and productive can happen in a short time. And I'm fine. But if I want to do it myself and plan it that way, then it does not work. I can´t make it. It is only in this letting go that he gives the blessing. In being dependent on him. In loving. And love has time.
Yes, I have appointments and deadlines today, but I do not want to be determined by them, even if they limit me in time. I am not only defined and dependent on time. I am a child of eternity! And eternity is sovereign over time. Even if I cannot do it, Jesus in me is king over space and time. And he is the prince of peace in my stress. He calms my soul and blesses my body. And I notice how much those two are connected.
I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you´re joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest will be abundant. Seperated you can´t produce a thing. John 15:5