I've been thinking about mindfulness lately.
(My thoughts in the "slow" blog a few weeks ago fit in with this: Slowness also promotes mindfulness...)
And during the autumn holidays I worked through a book about self-care ("Be good to you, we need you: better dealing with yourself" by Horst Conen), where two things in particular have stuck with me:
self-sufficiency and serenity.
When I am in danger of comparing myself to others, I can remember self-sufficiency. I'm ok, I don't have to prove myself to anyone, I like me.
Only God and I, that is my core essence.
I don't necessarily need the others (although we all need friends, of course! But we are not dependent on others.) My happiness does not depend on other people. I am also complete and satisfied with only myself and in my own company.
The second thing that appealed to me is serenity. I just don´t have enough of that! I am stressed by disorder and chaos, both externally as far as my surroundings are concerned (which is why I try to live minimalistically...) and internally as far as my plans are concerned: I often have very precise ideas about how something should happen.
(That´s also true for Christmas. I would love to be more relaxed during this coming season!...)
In any case, it would be good for me to be more relaxed and serene in every aspect of my life.
The fact that I have seen the connection between stress and serenity so clearly here, seems to already help me to be more relaxed more often! That's cool! Perhaps my serenity level improves more and more.
Sometimes I must laugh at myself for example when I catch myself grumbling at my husband for taking the wrong storage glass for the open cheese. That's really no big deal Julia!
But I'm glad I can laugh now at such petty behavior on my part.
What's the point of wearing myself down? I do make mistakes and I hope it doesn't cause any major psychological harm to my family.
I do a lot of things really well, too! Sometimes my behavior is absolutely ridiculous, but that's how we human beings are. (Do you notice that I´m already much more serene??)
I love to improve and optimize everything. This starts with my kitchen and doesn't stop with my own personality.
But I recently heard a talk about mindfulness that calls this behavior into question: Being mindful means embracing what is... without judging or improving right away.
I want to be more mindful of my surroundings. More mindful to my family. Want to be more mindful of myself. More mindful of God.
It´s okay for me to just be there.
And it´s okay for the others to just be there.
Love means I want you to be! (that's what Augustine said)
It's good that you exist!
And this is what God said when He looked at His creation:
"God looked at what he created and it was very good."
To perceive with pleasure.
Look and be grateful.
I'm curious if I can learn to be more mindful!
What do I do if I don´t improve anything? That's kind of part of me!
I love to learn and understand more and more. Recognize connections and apply them in my life.
It is good that we are growing and learning and that God is working in us!
In his word I can always find new wisdom! We are far from being finished and from having learned everything there is to learn!
-Although we are complete and loved and ok, just as we are right now!
What a wonderful paradox!
"The Lord your God is in your midst; and what a strong savior he is!
He rejoices with all his heart over you!
Because he loves you, he no longer talks about your guilt.
Yes, he cheers when he thinks of you!" Zephaniah 3.17
"Wise men and women are always learning,
always listening for fresh insight." Proverbs 18,15
Lucy, our cat, has no problems with serenity at all!